Well I guess I'm odd man out here. I think it is good that you came on exactly the way you did Freeman. It shows passion. Passion is something everything in a relationship. It means you have feeling. Unlike the JW clonelike expression of nothingness, we who are finally of sound mind have feelings for things. After a certain amount of time it is going to come out. Maybe that is exactly what your son needs, after all do you have a sneaky suspicion that his troubles he is having perhaps could be attributed to the "LIE". We are humans. We are supposedly made in God's image (if you believe all that). Hey he's going to kill all his children, what's a little emotional outburst.
On a more serious note, I do agree with the others that advise you to visit the boys. They have no one but family now. It will be good to see a friendly and caring face. If your "loving" wife won't tell you, find out elsewhere. Perhaps just seeing that there is someone from there former lives that still does give a damn will help them get on the right path. (not the narrow one). Good luck! I hope your son realizes he can't find the answer to your question, and comes to you for advice as you sound like you are a godd man and will steer him well.
Take care,
AS IF I SHUN!!